Pitching and Catching
by Vanessa S. Quest
Summary: ConYuu crack-fluff. Rumor has it that Yuri loves to catch Conrad's pitching. Rated for swearing and sexual innuendo shock .


Pitching and Catching, by Vanessa S. Quest

In Shin Makoku, of the many pieces of trivia, one of the most known facts happened to be a certain Maoh's favorite pastime hobby. Not only was the entire castle-staff well aware of Yuri's passion for baseball, even the many subjects seemed to know it.

What was there really to say, Yuri loved baseball. He loved to catch. And most of all, he loved to catch when Conrad was pitching. It seemed innocent enough, and soon, it even became a national interest, to the great excite of the 27th Maoh of Shin Makoku. The capital even housed two teams, just so they would have someone to play against.

Yuri took him mitt from his desk drawer before walking outside to meet up with Conrad, today's game of catch actually having an audience for once, as Gwendel, Gunter, Wolfram, Cheri, Anissina, and Greta were all set to watch. Yuri wondered if they were really all that bored or if this had to do with another piece of trivia floating about, well, more of an unconfirmed rumor.

The rumor went that Yuri _really_ liked to catch when Conrad was pitching. No, this was no longer about baseball.

Wolfram had heard it and almost exploded in anger, Gunter started to wail and lament, then beg Yuri to explain just exactly what this baseball was, questioning its familial values. Of course, Yuri found it all pretty shocking.

It was actually quite bad for his heart when Conrad explained to him what, exactly, had made Wolfram pick up his oldest brother's eyebrow tick when Yuri confirmed he loved it when Conrad pitched. Yuri still had a bit of a difficulty in locking eyes with Conrad after he explained the nature of the slang and the reference of 'catching' meaning to take it up… well, to be the 'woman'. When Conrad explained the nature of that game, which frankly Yuri had never really looked into before hand, to say he was a little embarrassed could be compared to saying Gunter could be slightly emotional.

Apparently his fictitious sex-life became an even more fascinating pastime, by the looks of the crowd. Wolfram looked ready to murder, Gwendel seemed like he was there to either avoid being alone with Anissina or to divert a national crisis, Gunter was acting like some sobbing bridesmaid, and the three female seemed to be far too amused for what they should be. That being a meddling scientist, a meddling mother and a naïve eight year old who all had the case of the giggles.

Conrad was either indifferent or too amused to really want to correct any of their misconceptions as he took up the baseball.

"Yuri, did you want to begin now?" Conrad mentioned.

Yuri's owlish eyes kept glancing at the crowd, feeling strangely nervous. He nodded to Conrad, Conrad tossed the ball, landing it squarely in the mitt's webbing. They were all thinking dirty, dirty things, well, except his perfect eight-year-old adopted daughter who was too sweet and innocent to have those sort of wicked thoughts, or so he thought. "Yuri! I want Conrad to be my daddy too!"

And with that, the baseball dropped out of Yuri's mitt as his jaw dropped.

"Greta!" Yuri said, shocked. He blushed as he thought of Conrad doing this and that to him.

Wolfram glared at Yuri. "Yuri you CHEATER!"

Anissina seemed to be bemused at Yuri's suffering instead of Gwendel's for once as she stifled a chuckle into her knuckle.

Yuri felt his face turn the same shade as Anissina's hair as he picked up the ball and locked eyes with Conrad sending out a frantic signal for help.

Seeing no signs of compliance from Conrad, though, as the brunette really seemed to enjoy Yuri's attempts at changing skin-colors, Yuri tossed the ball back into his mitt, roughly. He hoped it stung, almost.

Conrad merely smiled and waved to Greta in a friendly manner before tossing the ball back to Yuri.

Yuri lobbed the ball back to Conrad. The brunette fingered the ball, sending Yuri a fast-ball.

"Greta, don't you want me to be your daddy…" Wolfram mentioned to the little girl.

The girl smiled at Wolfram and giggled, hugging his waist.

Yuri caught the fast ball and was able to tune Wolfram out after the innate cuteness of Greta took the edge off his attitude.

Conrad caught the return-throw from Yuri and sent it back to him with another fast pitch.

"Greta, you can only have two parents, your…"

Greta's eyes watered, "But I already had a mom and a dad… I don't want Yuri not to be my daddy any more!"

"No! I don't mean that…" Wolfram back-pedaled as fast as he could, "You can only have two at a time… they are in pairs, you see, pairs… so your other set of parents aren't the same as…"

"Wolfy, Gwendel had three fathers, and you might have another one soon, too…"

"Yuri and Conrad look like a matching set too, don't they?" Anissina mentioned as Cheri nodded.

"Then Gwendel and Conrad and Yuri and you can all be my daddies!"

"Mother!" Wolfram glared at the older woman. "Don't teach her those sorts of values…"

Yuri held the ball for a few moments, gawking at the scene occurring to the side.

"Well Conrad looks so handsome next to Yuri, and Yuri looks so cute with him, don't be jealous, Wolfy…"

Yuri turned to look back at Conrad, tossing him the ball with extra force as if by focusing all of his energy on the baseball he could block out the arguments.

"Are you saying you think Conrad fucking Yuri would be more aesthetically pleasing then me 'pitching' to him!"

Crack. And that was the sound of the baseball hitting the side of Yuri's head. Yuri dropped his glove and started to nurse his temple.

"Yuri!" Conrad dropped his glove and approached Yuri. "Yuri, are you okay?"

"Yes." Gwendel mentioned, Gunter seemed to nod after a moment, his pondering nosebleed seemed to agree with the image of Yuri and Conrad in a thro of passion.

Yuri glared at them, "What kind of game do you think this IS?!" He gawked at them.

"Wolfram, you seem to be greatly mistaken." Conrad finally interjected as he approached Yuri.

Yuri was glad, finally, FINALLY Conrad would set this right.

"You're not playing for his team." He smiled that unnerving, confident, sexy-beast smile that Yuri was sure he had just associated with the phrase 'sexy-beast' for the first time ever just now, after the baseball had cracked him in the head.

Those same carnal lips swooped down on the confused black-haired maoh as he blazed territories unexplored with his tongue. After pulling back he added, "After all, I'm Yuri's star pitcher, right Yuri-Heika?"

Yuri pointed and stammered, and pointed some more. "You… kiss… tongued… you tongue kissed… in front of…" He looked at Conrad, completely baffled. "…I need to go to my room… and lay down."

Conrad smirked as he helped Yuri up. "Allow me to escort you."

As he led him away from the arguing horde, he let his hand slip under the back of Yuri's shirt, his fingers gently suggesting something more pleasant to Yuri then just walking it or even sleeping it off.

And with that, Conrad led Yuri to the king's chamber, where they continued their game of catch without the prying eyes of anyone thanks to Anissina and Cheri's heroic antics, and Gwendel's paternal instinct to protect Greta from growing up in that sort of environment, as he chose to take her to his office to practice knitting far away from Anissina.

-The End-


End file.
